Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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