So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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