I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
