i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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