Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
