Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
