Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
