Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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