Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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