Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
