Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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