i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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