this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
