Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
