They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
