I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
