Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
