Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early

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(801): View more from Utah

Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.

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(541): View more from Oregon

She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it

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(949): View more from California

Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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(716): View more from New York

Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.

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