i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize