Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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