The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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