I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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