I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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