im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
