I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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