Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize