How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
