It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize