WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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