Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
