Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
