help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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