You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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