there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
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