his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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