Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You are the jesus of drinking
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
