We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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