does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
