Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
