We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
