i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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