beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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