Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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