i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
