Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
