I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize