what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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