dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize