he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
then he tried to convert me to islam
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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