If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
