so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The Olympian is in my bed
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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