If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
the raccoons are back...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
