I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
