I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
