ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
