the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
