Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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