at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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