When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
