I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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