You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Boobs are out for the taking
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
