Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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