like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
