I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize