We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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