never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
